Recently, the best word that could describe my life is, PERPLEXED, not only in one aspect, but many. And yesterday, I finished all the decision-makings, being right or wrong, I don't know
, or in other words, I don't care anymore. As the most important factor is, being straight to your heart.
First - Compromise. I used to be able to keep a great relationship with my father, USED TO BE. Until for the past one year period, all those decisions I made just failed to meet his expectation, he agrees with none of my future plannings, life, relationships, or career. When the contradiction really achieved certain level, we never talked to each other anymore, or, he never talked to me anymore. First fighting between us, he insists when I insist, we started to harm each other; and in the end, when the situation is losing control, I compromised. He would leave me alone, but I have to achieve what he requires before August, or else, I need to follow his planning then. Though I hate to compromise, when I need to be myself, and don't wanna harm our relationship anymore, this's the only way to go, hope everything would go smoothly, to what I both want...
Second - Finally Decision made. I quitted my last job more than 2 month ago, for some complex reasons. After one month's Flying around, one month's interviews, I starts to miss the feeling of being busy and also, full-time job. However, you always get what you never expect, and miss what you really want, especially when the unexpected one is truely a great one. In the past 1-month time, I asked for many friends' advices, which has made me more confused. Until yesterday, someone unexpected reminded me of something -- it was my issue, so the decision must be made by myself, so does the consideration part. Finally, I decided to wait until my day come ^_^
Third - Give-up. I've been trapping myself in a maze for quite a long time since my dream fell to the ground 3 years ago, I wanted to give up but I just kept thinking about those moments, the feeling which I wanted to get rid of but at the end It turned out that I was actually trying to keep it. This oddity just messed my life and his, also, kept us staying at the beginning line, painful. Yesterday I was in Guangzhou, on top of a tall building, wind were blowing so hardly there when I suddenly realized, we have to move on now, both of us.
and also, MY LIFE.