I miss you

I like the way you talk with me,
the words you use and the tone you lead
I like when you look at me,
seriously, with the always amazing smile

I like being by your side, no matter,
what we could do and even without words
I like you more than I thought, or imagined,
the fact of that was never accepted, until

you are no longer aside right now,
when you're gone,
The words I need to hear always get me through the day
and make it ok,
I miss you...

P.S: but anyway, I still don't like your name, always

Question myself ?

「其實你會系度做幾耐?」

其實連我自己都忘記了從這份工作開始到現在我到底被多少個人問過這樣的問題, 每個人問得都異常認真, 而每一次, 我都認真而誠實的回答同一段說話, 然後, 每一次, 問的人都接受, 而不相信.

今天傍晚, 在被問第n次仍然不獲信任之後, 我開始思索, 這到底是怎樣的一個情況, 其實我到現在還是搞不清楚, 即便對這樣的問題心裏的那個答案其實如此的清晰, 我對自己堅持的東西從來都不會有任何改變, 雖然我都明白或許真的有許多人都不了解, 但是有的時候堅持就是堅持, 如果真的某些東西是我所要追求的, 我當初也不會做這樣一個決定, 也不會因此放棄如此多的一切, 同樣現在的生活也不會一樣, 而既然已經決定了要做的事情, 我又有什麼提早放棄的可能; 雖然話今日不知明日事, 許多事情或許都會改變, 但堅持, 還是不會變的...

哎, 幸好這樣的問題我拿去問除同事以外的朋友他們都堅定地相信我會做到我的promise, 不然做第一份工作做到這樣幾乎要開始懷疑自己的地步, 就真的是可悲可憐可歌可泣了... >_<

Memorize today

其實也不是第一次了, 也不是第一次在這樣的一天倔強的去改變原有的髮型, 更不是第一次翻箱倒櫃的找這一首歌出來聽, 只不過這一次剛巧在同一天被朋友猜中心事推薦同一首歌給我聽實在是有夠巧合. 也就這樣吧, 我很好, 感謝所有關心我的你們, 幸好並不傷心, 只是遺憾我們本不應該走到這一步, 也算是天父爸爸的安排吧...

Lene Marlin - Disguise

Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Are you waiting for the day
When your pain will disappear
When you know that it's not true, what they say about you
You couldn't care less about a thing surrounding you
Ignoring all the voices from now on...

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Still we don't know what's yet to come

a summary of past few weeks

果然過了這麼多天之後還是陸陸續續的收到了許多的投訴, 逛遍我所有的sites都是疏於更新, 於是在剛巧今天更新flickr, youtube, facebook之後還是絕對來跟親愛的blogger聯絡一下感謝, 試看看最近最不擅長的堆字吧.....

其實人生中第一份full-time job到現在也開始了差不多一個月了, 雖然我從來不喜歡在什麼類似第一日返工第一日做野辛苦与愉快等等特別的時刻特別的爲了留下回憶留下什麽文字或照片, 但時至今日似乎也該留下些什麽東西的感覺(雖然Probation還沒有過...), 作爲一個summary也好, keep a track.

20嵗, 生命中的第一份full-time job, 其實決定拖得很長考慮得很久維持在猶豫与猶豫之間, 這種情緒說真的在之前的日子裏很少會出現, as一個一直都很清楚自己下一步該怎樣走的我, 幸好, 雖然很辛苦很不習慣的作了這樣的選擇, 沒有讓自己後悔, 生活得簡單而快樂,這樣就足夠了吧, 我想.

P.S.: 哎, 所以說我最近超不擅長堆字, 簡直就是"為賦新詞強說愁", sigh...這就是完全沒感覺卻還是要summarize的結果, and also, The end of current relationship is coming...

麗江的春天

麗江的春天 by 陳昇Bobbie Chen

今天跟我回家 我最親愛的朋友 窗外依偎杜鵑花 明天一起醒來
也許會有一天 我們終需要分別 小河盡頭四方街 你在那裏等著我

今天跟我回家 我最親愛的朋友 夜裏喝杯普洱茶 笑著說要去走婚
也許會有一天 我們終需要分別 你可不要忘了我 雪山龍潭東巴囯

我愛你啊 甲蘇確．．． 我最親愛的朋友 你可不要忘了我 要在那裏等著我
也許會有一天 我們終需要分別 你可不要忘了我 玉龍雪山的春天

雲南, as一個許多人的夢——夢中的雲南, 夢中的香格里拉, 夢中的麗江古城. 曾經經歷過的兩次旅行經過那裏, 雖然都不在春天, 但聽到這一首歌的時候, 卻還是無法控制回憶侵襲思緒, 特別是, 曾經陪我走過這兩段旅程陪我走過麗江古城和玉龍雪山的人, 現在, 都不在身旁.

昇哥的流浪日記首部曲, 一張關於流浪的專輯, 不是旅行, 而是流浪, 正如我一直所期望的那樣, 放開背後的所有, 放開所有的planning, worries等等, 就只有單純的你和你自己, 在旅途上. 在那之前, 就在這樣一個偷來的空閒夜晚, 讓昇哥的歌聲, 帶你去感覺流浪吧......

Three days since you left...

I was having a lunch in Starbucks when I talked about you to my new friend today, didn't figure out that you've just left three days, the current feeling of mine totally made me feel that I should have treated you better in the past few weeks.

Sorry that I did not ever reply to your message and your unreached calles, not only because that right now this job I'm totally not allowed to use mobilephone during working hours, but also is, I really couldn't figure out what the attitude I should be using when I am talking to you, though the previous talk we had was a terrible fight.

You always know my concerns and worries, after so many times of repeating failed experiences, so just, Desolee et me donne des temps...